If a man has an affair with his secretary, then he's a lowdown dog.
But there's a NY Times article about women having affairs with their contractors, and the article has nothing bad to say about it. "It’s fast, sexy, hot, but it doesn’t mean a lot — it’s like sexual chocolate, like sneaking out and getting that double scoop of ice cream in the afternoon."
Oh, please. The power dynamic is entirely different. Contractor runs his own business, and gets to finish up his job and move on to the next house. Contractors are generally not subservient to their clients.
Secretary (or female associate) has to step and fetch for creepy male boss every day, exclusively, unless she gets fired or starts over somewhere else with new boss. Coworkers know and hold it against her. Bosses who do that with one, will do it with another, thus creating conflict between women in the office. The discarded ones finds themselves in a very awkward position.
Posted by: spungen | July 20, 2006 at 02:07 PM
and I can't believe a guy in Manhattan subscribes to the Spokane Spokesman-Review, which is necessary to read that article.
Posted by: spungen | July 20, 2006 at 02:39 PM
and I can't believe a guy in Manhattan subscribes to the Spokane Spokesman-Review, which is necessary to read that article.
Posted by: spungen | July 20, 2006 at 02:39 PM
Different power dynamics, yes. There's a reason the movie is called 'Secretary' and not 'Contractor' :-P .
Posted by: bbartlog | July 20, 2006 at 03:10 PM
Oh come on. Do you all have some sort of 'it's not the same' whining comment for everything?
I agree with HS, I see the double standard with friends, friends of friends, and co-workers.
It exists *GASP* so stop trying to pretend like it doesn't and move on.
Posted by: Hoser | July 20, 2006 at 03:43 PM
Good Grief -- it's been they same way for 1000's of years - the double standard. It just won't go away. sigh.
Posted by: Kathleen | July 20, 2006 at 04:39 PM
Sure, there's a double standard. But I'm still free to point out that this in particular is a lousy example. And as someone said in a previous set of comments, we have a double standard because nature has a double standard.
Posted by: bbartlog | July 20, 2006 at 04:40 PM
Nature in general, and the participants specifically. The reason the article has nothing bad to say is because none of the sources made any complaints. OTOH, female employees are always complaining about negative career effects due to advances from superiors. I, for one, tend not to complain about things I enjoy. Cite me a lawsuit where a contractor complains his career was ruined because he refused sex to a desperate housewife, then I'll reconsider.
Posted by: spungen | July 20, 2006 at 05:01 PM
"Secretary (or female associate) has to step and fetch for creepy male boss every day, exclusively, unless she gets fired or starts over somewhere else with new boss. Coworkers know and hold it against her. Bosses who do that with one, will do it with another, thus creating conflict between women in the office. The discarded ones finds themselves in a very awkward position."
Substitute male for female and vice versa. If a female boss were chasing after a male employee, the guy would either get some free sex, find a new job, or start his own business. If he complained, people would roll their eyes and dismiss him as a crybaby.
The reason why the woman-as-victim role works is because girls love playing it as much as guys enjoy saving the damsel-in-distress.
"Cite me a lawsuit where a contractor complains his career was ruined because he refused sex to a desperate housewife, then I'll reconsider."
So if a female contractor loses a contract because a male homeowner requests sex, you would have no problem?
Posted by: Steve | July 20, 2006 at 09:04 PM
Sexual harassment in the US is filled with hypocracy. Look at athletes, they are given almost total immunity for sexual harassment. Look at musicians. The behavior expected of white bosses such as the one mentioned in the Spokanne newspaper is not expected for blacks or Hispanics in the US (just look at Mfume, Chavis, or Jesse Jackson).
Look at how the media treats teacher-students sex cases with the teacher is female (and good looking) versus male.
Posted by: superdestroyer | July 21, 2006 at 07:00 AM
HS, it occurs to me that I may have misunderstood your criticism -- you may have been perceiving disparate views of cheating on one's spouse, rather than on sex with one's underlings or hired help. I can see someone being offended that an article about extramarital affairs has such a coy tone. It's a fine line. The story did lead with a guy who lost his wife and home because of such an affair, and I think it took a sympathetic tone toward him.
The overall concept, however, was "What makes male contractors so alluring to women?" I can't think of a job women have that raises the same question. Secretaries? Proximity, subservience. Au pairs? Proximity, youth. Models? Hot and young. Lawyers? Only on TV.
Posted by: spungen | July 21, 2006 at 12:05 PM
Baa. Human sexual relationships. Frogs love 'em and leave 'em (and sometimes eat the tadpoles) regardless of gender. As always, it is more civilized, as is the means of reproduction (none of that gross mammal penetration and grunting stuff).
Posted by: Lab_Frog | July 23, 2006 at 01:55 AM