Good furniture and children don’t mix

From today’s NY Times, an article about children and expensive furniture:

During two renovations, each costing more than $100,000, they built a two-sided fireplace to separate the living and dining rooms, put in a wine cellar and installed a sleek maple and granite kitchen. They bought molded-wood chairs in the Arne Jacobsen style, Murano glass pendant lamps and a custom walnut entertainment unit. Ms. Brown, who had become obsessed with interior design in law school, poured heart and soul into the projects.

But just as Ms. Brown and Mr. Friedman were establishing their first truly grown-up residence — she was 38, he 37 — Ms. Brown gave birth to their first child, Harrison, a boy who turned out as bouncing as most.

Suddenly they were confronted with a question that had never before occurred to them: given the way baby gear and toys take over households, the uncivilized habits of toddlers and the dangers posed by sharp-edged contemporary furniture, could Ms. Brown and Mr. Friedman continue to live their high-design dream?

First of all, this makes you wonder what good children are for in the first place, if they ruin your expensive furniture.

But that thought aside, kids ruining the furniture was not as big an issue back when people had children in their early twenties when Mother Nature wanted them to. By the time they were old enough to afford expensive furniture, the children were old enough not to destroy it.

Comments

[Vim]

I try to pretend the part of the NYT that produces these pretentious stories doesn't exist.

Who is supposed to sympathize with people that can spend $200,000 on renovations and who get written about in national newspapers?

Maybe they should spend another $200,000 on a nanny to watch their kid and a room to keep their kid in.

Then they can let the NYT write another article about that.

[superdestroyer]

conclusions from the article.

1. Married women in NYC keep their maiden names.

2. People in NYC give their children stupid first names. I guess is goes along with the article about yuppies changing their kids name when they start elite, private pre-school and realize that there are five Harrison's or Brooke's.

3. Does anyone in NYC have a real job. Is everyone a writer?

[Al Fin]

Honestly, this dialogue illustrates a huge problem with modern thinking. Rational people would be selling inexpensive removable furniture covers to protect the furniture until children are older.

1. Find a problem
2. Find a solution
3. Make a lot of money selling the solution

Instead we have faux problems without solutions that occupy most affluent idlers time.

[Half Sigma]

Al Fin: "inexpensive removable furniture covers"

Nothing screams "PROLE!" like inexpensive removable furniture covers.

Vim: "I try to pretend the part of the NYT that produces these pretentious stories doesn't exist."

What would I blog about if it weren't for these pretentious stories?

[bobvis]

Mother Nature likely wanted us to have children starting around 13 and keep going until we couldn't have any more. Mother Nature did not intend for kids to live with their parents through high school and find their spouses in college. That's relatively recent history.

[Peter]

So the people had children later than Mother Nature intended. Big ducking feal. Mother Nature also intended for us to be stinking up coffins by age 40.

[The Engineer]

Regarding pretentious names, here is the order of operations:

1) Start with a dead president's last name.
2) At first, it is a boy's name.
3) Over time, it becomes a girl's name.

What's the deal with that?

Madison, Tyler, Taylor, etc.

Harrison is going to be a girl's name over time.

[superdestroyer]

I always thought that Tyler as a white boys name would go away since both Tyler and Tyrone are almost always shortened to Ty and what upper middle class white parent is going to give their children a name that may make people think that they are black?

I love the 40 year old who always act like they invented parenting. Have the parents already put Harrison and Brooke on the application list for the Trinity School or the Dalton School.

May guess is that any kid whose parents worry about the expensive antique furniture will never see the inside of a public school.

[Peter]

Regarding pretentious names, here is the order of operations:
1) Start with a dead president's last name.
2) At first, it is a boy's name.
3) Over time, it becomes a girl's name.
What's the deal with that?
Madison, Tyler, Taylor, etc.

According to the Baby Name Wizard, Madison has always been a girls'-only name and Tyler is overwhelmingly a boys' name. Taylor is one of the rare names that's used almost equally for boys and girls.

[eddiek]

Nothing screams "PROLE!" like inexpensive removable furniture covers.

And nothing screams "ANNOYING PRETENTIOUS YUPPIE GEEK SQUAD MEMBER BORN WITH A SILVER SPOON IN THEiR MOUTH WHO NEEDS TO GET A REAL F'N JOB!" like expensive furniture, interior design interest, stupid kid first names, NYC residency, and 100k renovations.

Seriously? Harrison? Madison? Dorks!

I still believe these aricles are somewhat bullshit, just like the article about the woman who dumped some guy for eating meat, etc...Wasn't it also shown that the same 5 or 6 people continually get their letters printed in the Op Ed sections as well.
It is very possible that since everybody seems to be a writer(as superdestroyer noted)that the interviewers and reporter/editor probably know each other. It look like some big circle jerk to me.

[Spungen]

Madison, Tyler, Taylor, etc.

Harrison is going to be a girl's name over time.

Yes, Carter is currently making the Stage 2 transition.

I feel sorry for the girls who'll be named Bush.

[William McNellis]

"Even before Kipp Cheng and his partner of 15 years, Mark Jarecke, arrived home with their son, Beckett, last March, they could see that many of the furnishings in their Maplewood, N.J., colonial house, including a set of four Barcelona chairs and a glass-top Noguchi coffee table, were accidents waiting to happen. But they weren’t eager to act."!

Where did "Kipp and Mark" get their son from, the "baby store on the corner"?

These silly real estate profile articles in the NY Times (most often profiling 2 men living in "partnership", often architects or lawyers, living in townhouses filled with antiques), and especially the wedding announcements in the Sunday edition, are "unintentionally hilarious" to those of us outside the NY Times liberal world view!

The kind of people that read the NY Times and see nothing funny in this stuff are the kind of people who wake up and say, "How could Nixon have become president, I don't understand it? None of MY FRIENDS voted for him!"

Lord Jesus, please help us in this hour of need!

[Spungen]

But that thought aside, kids ruining the furniture was not as big an issue back when people had children in their early twenties when Mother Nature wanted them to. By the time they were old enough to afford expensive furniture, the children were old enough not to destroy it.

I think you're wrong. From reading old books and looking at old people's homes, I think furniture used to be nicer and more expensive, on average. Big, heavy, wooden heirloom pieces.

The nicer pieces would be kept in the rooms used mainly for company, like the parlor. Children were warned strictly about its use.

Mothers with the nice furniture were almost always at home, and possibly had many other family members around to help supervise the children. Children played outside, not inside.

[Spungen]

Ms. Brown, who had become obsessed with interior design in law school,

??? Good thing she didn't get obsessed with law or anything.

[The Engineer]

I feel sorry for the girls who'll be named Bush.

Hey Spungen, this is the second day in a row that you wrote something that made me LOL. My cubemates are giving me funny looks.

Love ya.

Yeah, I don't think that anyone will be naming their kid Bush. Ever.

Walker is a trendy name, however. That's the "W", right?

[Peter]

I feel sorry for the girls who'll be named Bush.

No need ... it's becoming tragically obsolete in that context :(((

[Gannon]

That's why it's perfectly compatible for young men to date girls as young as 14 and marry them as young as 15/16. It's in perfect accordance with natural law. Bobvis is among the few birghter ones here who understands natural law.

[The Engineer]

What's the stupidest name you guys have ever come across?

Carter is pretty bad, but in my case, the worst name ever was Maverick.

You got that right. Named after Tom Cruise's character in "Top Gun".

Could be worse. Could be named after Val Kilmer's character "Iceman".

[superdestroyer]

Spurgen,

In Googling the two lawyers it seems that they are liability litigators who work for insurance companies. Do those people really make that much money?

[William McNellis]

What's the stupidest name you guys have ever come across?!

Second hand story from someone who's a social worker, supposedly this woman encountered a "client" who had a child named "Ya Highness".

[slwerner]

Harrison is going to be a girl's name over time.

It seems that Reagan already is.

[Peter]

What's the stupidest name you guys have ever come across?
Carter is pretty bad, but in my case, the worst name ever was Maverick.

Some years back I knew a man around my age named "Scripture." He went by Skip but did not make any attempt to hide his real name.

[The Engineer]

I forgot about D'Brickishaw. But black names don't count.

Worst white names.

[loki on the run]

Brown's real mistake was having a boy! America today is so anti-male that any woman pregnant with a boy should consider aborting and trying again for a girl.

I am really glad that I only have daughters, and they were wonderful children, but four would have been better than three.

[roissy]

I think you're wrong. From reading old books and looking at old people's homes, I think furniture used to be nicer and more expensive, on average. Big, heavy, wooden heirloom pieces.

The nicer pieces would be kept in the rooms used mainly for company, like the parlor.

HS is right about younger couples not being able to afford expensive furniture in the past. those nice heavy oak pieces were usually hand-me-downs from parents and grandparents. and there were only one or two showcase pieces... usually the china cabinet and the dining room table. the rest of the furniture in the bedrooms and den were lower quality.

[Bill]

“First of all, this makes you wonder what good children are for in the first place, if they ruin your expensive furniture.”

I really enjoy your comments.

[Jack]

I think it's funny that the two lawyers seem more concerned with their furniture than their kid.

[Turambar]

So it would seem that this is only a problem that only effects couple who dont have children until their 40's and who dont take their spouses last name.

“I’m pretty sensitive aesthetically, and it does something for me when I look at a pretty room,” Ms. Cherney said. “Looking at what the room used to be was the visual equivalent of listening to Bach or Mozart.

Cherney is nearly 50 and Bernstein is 56. These are people who are supposed to be empty nesters, not just having kids now. Its not the kids fault that these fogies are looking for peace and quiet at their age.

[McClain] also refused to babyproof furniture when the children were younger. She was “never one of those mothers” who put safety corners on coffee tables, she said. “That stuff is just gross, and I don’t feel you have to sacrifice living space to that degree.”

I've had a kid trip head long and fall into a coffee table corner. Not fun for anyone. Regardless of what she "feels" about it, its a necessity or you are imposing a risk of injury on a toddler learning to walk.

[Jim Beam]

Children played outside, not inside.

No...remember? This is Manhattan upper crust kids we're talking about here and this is Half Sigma's blog.

Playing outside with other kids and getting dirty are the pleasures of the disgusting prole warlocks that inhabit the earth.

If you abstain from the prole way of life, you too can have your own blog and obsess over how people perceive your class standing. Cuz, if you let your kid indulge in the prole way of life, your kid will likely end up as a janitor and vote away the wealth of the upper class.

[stirner]

I'm guessing that 40 years from now, when we get a followup article, there will be a quote like this:

"Mom wanted to move in with us, but when I realized what shower rails and wheelchair ramps would do to my minimalist granite aesthetic, i had to beg off. I hear that her nursing home has made great strides in overcoming their past history of elder neglect."

[Days of Broken Arrows]

I'm just throwing this link out here so Ganon can do naked cartwheels. It an article about a lifelong love affair between a couple who are now a zillion years old. There's a 15 year age difference, though:
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-te.md.love14feb14,0,1355569.story

[dearieme]

All our best furniture was bought second-hand or inherited. The fittest had survived and a few more infantile assaults hardly altered it.

[Canson]

One day of having the kids in my family or any of my cousins in their house would probably cause these lightweights to implode. I can't honestly recall one visit from relatives that did not involve damage to the house, furnishings or occupants. That's just special occasion damage, day to day wear and tear was not insignificant, boys are tough on everything. I don't come from some uber trashy background either, we were reasonably well disciplined kids and had normally attentive parents. I guess if you don't fancy your home a shrine to good taste, life, normal life that is, is possible. This additude can be taken too far naturally, my grandparents once watched the entire brood for a long weekend (conservatively at that time it was 10-14 children from 18 mo.-9 years). I was too young to remember but needless to say this ill advised act of fillial love was not repeated.

[Spungen]

In Googling the two lawyers it seems that they are liability litigators who work for insurance companies. Do those people really make that much money?

No.

Then again, anyone who becomes "obsessed with interior design" in law school is probably not depending upon her law degree for her socioeconomic standing.

[verde]

So, which one of you guys runs this site?

Its hilarious!

[slwerner]

"So, which one of you guys runs this site?"

I was just checking it out via Steve Sailer's link. Great stuff!

Had to bring #54 to my wife's attention. Not only does it perfectly describe her, she owns both the the exact items pictured (amongst her vast collection).

[Ned]

Here's a nice website on bad baby names:
http://notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/bestof.html

Anyway, I remember a story - I think it was from "Freakonomics" - about a black woman who tried to name her baby Shithead, but pronounced in some pseudo-French fashion to sound like Sheetaid or something. I don't recall if she got away with it. Poor kid, even with a normal name, having that for a mother.

[William McNellis]

Anyway, I remember a story - I think it was from "Freakonomics" - about a black woman who tried to name her baby Shithead, but pronounced in some pseudo-French fashion to sound like Sheetaid or something. I don't recall if she got away with it. Poor kid, even with a normal name, having that for a mother.

Similar to this, I read somewhere about a doctor who every so often has to insist to his "high IQ" (NOT!) patients NOT to name their daughter "Latrina".

I've heard: "Syphilis," "Da'Cron," and "Taleeka."

[Salamander]

The worst name I ever heard was "Meconium." Which, in case you did not know, is the medical term for a newborn baby's first poop. Apparently the mother heard the word while she was in the hospital, and thought it a pretty name.

Along with the trend for giving children annoyingly gender-neutral names, I have also noticed that few children today have nicknames. They are always "Jonathan," "William," "Daniel," "Susannah," or "Elizabeth;" never Johnny, Billy, Dan, Susie or Liz.

My own theory on the stupid name phenomenon is that the myriads of Jennifers, Karens, and Lisas who were born in the late '60's and early '70's so resented having such ubiquitous names that they vowed to give their own offspring non-standard names so they would be "unique." Forgetting, of course, that every thirtysomething Jennifer also had the bright idea to name her child Logan or Sienna, thus consigning another generation to a lifetime of hearing people say "Walker? Which one?"

Another annoying naming trend is giving the child a somewhat normal name, but spelling it really strangely, such as "Leighssa" and "Kaisye" instead of Lisa and Casey. Mind you, my ancestors gave their children some rather awful names like "Clearenda" and "Easter," but their excuse was they were poor and illiterate and lived two hundred years ago. I am not sure why people want to doom their children to a lifetime of having to spell their name "No, it's not L-I-S-A, it's L-E-I-G-H-S-S-A."

Likewise, I am not sure why people want to ensure that any potential employer will be able to guess with startling accuracy their child's age, based upon their first name..."hmmm, Madison Fletcher-Owens; she must be at least 50 with a name like that -- put her in the don't call pile!"

[Ned]

I like Meconium. How about a sibling named Icterus?

[bristlecone]

Worst child name, Black category: I went to high school with a girl named "Clintaris"

Worst child name, White category: My father (Mississippi, mid-50s) went to school with a boy named "States Rights".

[bristlecone]

"So, which one of you guys runs this site?

Its hilarious!"

Link does not work. What day was that published???

[slwerner]

:Link does not work. What day was that published???"

Try
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

[Tris]

I grew up with nice, heavy, expensive furniture. And velvet sofas with buttons that left weird marks on your face when you fell asleep on them. My parents also didn't latch the kitchen cabinets. They just supervised me and told me Drano was poisonous.

Maybe these parents should tell their children NOT TO RUIN THINGS, and then they won't have any problems with that. But I bet they don't really have boundaries or tell their kids no. Ever.

[Tris]

I grew up with nice, heavy, expensive furniture. And velvet sofas with buttons that left weird marks on your face when you fell asleep on them. My parents also didn't latch the kitchen cabinets. They just supervised me and told me Drano was poisonous.

Maybe these parents should tell their children NOT TO RUIN THINGS, and then they won't have any problems with that. But I bet they don't really have boundaries or tell their kids no. Ever.