Kate, a 27-year-old Asian woman, left the following comment:
I wish Asian men would stop acting like they own women just because they share a race. You're not guaranteed a certain type of women in dating so stop complaining when you get out competed. I'm an Asian girl and recently I started dating white men. To be honest, I only started because while I was in med school I was really stressed out and my lovely Asian guys all told me to go jump off a bridge if I'm scared and anxious of not doing well.
So lesson number 1: Learn some empathy. You know that pesky SAT verbal section that you ignored because you knew you would get a 800 in math? Well, turns out it will actually serve some purpose in life when discussing feelings and being humanistic. Women like feelings. We like men who understand our feelings especially when we are scared.
Lesson 2: You may be nice, honest, and loyal but if you don't pay any attention at all to your body I'm never going to want to sleep with you. As much as I try, I can't force myself to be sexually attracted to a man with skinnier arms and smaller shoulders than me. I'm 5'8" and 120 lbs but most of the Asian guys who hit on me are pretty much scarecrows. You know, lift some weights now and then, it's the 21st century. Having a professional degree and a basic wardrobe isn't going to cut it.
Lesson 3: Stop being so gloomy and bitter. God....it just screams loser. Please. At least pretend to have a positive outlook on life...
Lesson 4: Let go of Mommy and stop living at home! So many Asian guys I know live with their parents and don't understand why they are single at 30. Please! If the only place you have to be alone with a girl is in your car or the park...you're not going to score a chick whose alternative is a Caucasian guy with a apartment on the Upper East Side even if he is a known womanizer.
Lesson 5: Be more flexible. I had a Asian guy friend once who I dated in the past. I knew that he wanted to marry me and I probably would have out of high school loyalty if only he didn't say no to just about ever demand I made of him. Would it really hurt him to put on a pirate costume and go out with me on Halloween? Really? If it's important to me even if he is just a nerdy engineer who is terrified of attention, do it to show me you care. Make an attempt. What do you have to lose?
So there we go. These are just my pet peeves from dating Asian men. At the age of 27 I think I can say now that if I don't marry outside of my race, I'm hitting up a sperm bank.
#1: My guess is that Asian men don’t talk about their feelings because they are introverted and not because they lack verbal ability. According to actual 2008 SAT scores statistics from the College Board (click here), Asian men and Asian women have the exact same average score on the “Critical Reading” section of the SAT: 513. This is slightly below the average white score, but higher than the score of any other ethnic group identified by the College Board. Unfortunately, the statistics don’t separate out Asian test-takers who were born overseas. I suspect that if Asians born overseas were excluded, the average Asian male would score the same as the average White male, if not higher.
#2: Asian men are born skinny, they can’t help it. I’m sure they would prefer to be big and buff if they had the choice. I still think that more than 75% of Asian men weigh more than 120 lbs and have thicker arms than Kate.
#3: Asian men are probably gloomy and bitter because of the stuff Kate wrote in #2.
#4: Immigrants just don’t understand the American custom that children should live away from home. It really doesn’t make any economic sense, and Asian immigrants tend to be very frugal because they grew up in poorer countries. Even for Asian men born in this country, their frugality is handed down to them by their parents. It takes a few generations to wear off. Frugality is also associated with higher future time orientation, and I suspect that Asians have a genetic predisposition to higher future time orientation than whites. It's these same factors which caused Jews to be stereotyped as being cheap, but after many generations of living in the United States, Jews have finally learned to be spendthrifts like other Americans.
#5: Kate's boyfriend should have taken her out for Halloween. However, Asian men tend to be introverted, and dressing up in a costume is more of an extroverted activity. Kate admits that it was outside of his comfort zone.
In conclusion, I think that Kate just likes white men better than Asian men, possibly because watching television taught her to value those male characteristics more commonly found in white men than in Asian men, but Kate feels sort of guilty about it, so she is trying to blame Asian men for stuff that isn't really their fault.