This episode takes place in Michigan where Hannah is visiting her parents, who hare having a 30th wedding anniversary. This means we don’t get to see any of the Brooklyn gang. Except for Adam, but more on that later.
Hannah finds hanging out with her parents extremely boring. Her mother gets annoyed at her for texting during the DVD they are watching in their living room. Then Hannah goes to the kitchen and stuffs her face with food. As if she’s not fat enough already.
The next morning, her mom sends her off to buy menopause medicine, but first she stops at a coffee place where the girl behind the counter is Heather, a smoking-hot ditzy airhead blonde who apparently went to high school with Hannah. The gorgeous blonde former classmate tells Hannah about this girl Carrie who disappeared while on a trip.
Then Hannah goes to the pharmacy, where the pharmacist is also a former classmate of Hannah’s. He says he owns the place with his father, and then he flirts with her by giving her free lubricant for her mom’s menopause, and they arrange a date, which means that Hannah has to skip going out to dinner with her parents for their wedding anniversary.
On her date with the pharmacist, they go to the benefit for Carrie in which they watch a poorly choreographed dance routine starring the beautiful Heather. I was too busy observing how beautiful she was to notice the bad dancing, but Hannah noticed it for me.
Then Hannah and the pharmacist have awkward vanilla sex at his place. He’s not interested in having Hannah satisfy any weird sexual fetishes.
Then Hannah returns home, and her father is flat out on the floor of the bathroom where he slipped having sex with Hannah's mother. Luckily, the father is OK. Then we see his naked penis. Yuck! I so regret stating last week that the show needs a naked penis. That was disgusting. Luckily, the dad was OK.
Then Adam returns Hannah’s phone call, and they have the first real conversation like a boyfriend would have with a girlfriend since they’ve been seeing each other.
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The best part of the phone conversation is Hannah’s description of the pharmacist’s apartment:
I was just so amazed by his apartment, it’s huge, it’s like twice the size of yours and he paid like nothing for it, and it just made me think, like why doesn’t everyone struggling in New York move here and start the revolution? It’s like we’re all slaves to this place that doesn’t even really want us.
That’s a good question, why doesn’t everyone just move to a white place with a low cost of living, especially if they don’t even have real job that requires them to live in New York?
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And here is Otis’ lost review:
Boring ep because it all took place in Michigan with Hannah's parents. Hannah hooked up with some really boring beta guy. They had sex but it seemed kindof bleh. During, Hannah seemed frustrated that this boring nice guy wouldn't tell her what to do and it may be that one reason she puts up with Adam's bizarre fantasies is because going along with it is so easy for her.
Adam calls Hannah up and has a conversation with Hannah where you really see the contrast between him and the "nice guy", who presumbly functioned as some sort of stand in for every bland nice guy in America. Yeah, Adam is gross and weird and a jerk and not very good looking but at least he is somewhat interesting and he is a good fit for Hannah's offbeat personality. He is still using PUA tactics: calling her "kid", as a pet name to establish dominance or something I guess.
Worst episode of the series so far.
Up next week: Charlie is with a girl that is even hotter than Marnie, and Marnie isn't happy about it. Hannah runs into Adam at a party dancing with some other girl. Jessa appears to finally make a move on unemployed dad. Shoshana smokes crack.